Today, I want to discuss something that the church often doesn’t mention or shames when mentioning and that is the naked truth about sexuality. And that naked truth is that God created sex. Our sex drive wasn’t given to us by the world but by God (Song of Songs 8:4). He created sex for bonding, it makes two one with him. He intended on it being pleasurable for us. With that being said, sex is too powerful to play around with. There are certain lies about sexuality that need to be removed from our lives and those three are:
- There are no strings attached.
- Porn doesn’t hurt anybody.
- I need to be experienced.
We’re a three in one being as our heavenly father: spirit, soul and body. So when we engage in sex we aren’t just giving someone our body but transferring our spirit and soul with theirs, we’re becoming one with them. There are strings attached always when having sex outside of marriage, very unhealthy ones unlike what movies and TV shows display to us nowadays. Sex was intended for the boundaries of marriage, to protect us from the consequences of sin outside of marriage. Our bodies are NOT our own. 1 Corinthians 6:14-20 MSG expresses this quite plainly: “God honored the Master’s body by raising it from the grave. He’ll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master’s body. You wouldn’t take the Master’s body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not. There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”
Notice how it states that we violate the sacredness of our own bodies. In TPT it states that “For every other sin a person commits is external to the body but immorality involves sinning against your own body.” We’re harming ourselves by engaging in sex before marriage. We’re called to be steward what the Lord has given us, especially in regards to our body. Two halves don’t make a whole, only Christ Jesus can make us whole. We have to take a stand to say yes to our covenant with God to guard our eyes from vulgar and profane things, to be a man/women of integrity, to have self-control, to live shame-free, to live with no regrets (by not acting on ungodly things), to having a healthy family, to never settling for less than God’s best, to breaking negative family cycles and to making the right choice even when its hard. We’re called to get rid of all impurity (Colossians 3:5). Psalms 119:9 states that the way to stay on the path of purity is to live according to the Word of God and walk in its truth. Now, in regards to purity it didn’t say to “remain a virgin.” Often times people associate virginity with purity when in fact virginity (as well as restoration of virginity) is simply a fruit of purity. Purity is actually referenced in the Bible as the same term that is used for healing and cleansing of a leper. Purity is the healing of ones spirit, it comes from the Lord and cannot be attained on our own (John 15:5). Ephesians 4:17-25 TPT explains what our new life should be like now that we have dedicated our life to Christ: “So with the wisdom given to me from the Lord I say: You should not live like the unbelievers around you who walk in their empty delusions. Their corrupted logic has been clouded because their hearts are so far from God—their blinded understanding and deep-seated moral darkness keeps them from the true knowledge of God. Because of spiritual apathy, they surrender their lives to lewdness, impurity, and sexual obsession. But this is not the way of life that Christ has unfolded within you. If you have really experienced the Anointed One, and heard his truth, it will be seen in your life; for we know that the ultimate reality is embodied in Jesus! And he has taught you to let go of the lifestyle of the ancient man, the old self – life, which was corrupted by sinful and deceitful desires that spring from delusions. Now it’s time to be made new by every revelation that’s been given to you. And to be transformed as you embrace the glorious Christ-within as your new life and live in union with him! For God has re-created you all over again in his perfect righteousness, and you now belong to him in the realm of true holiness. So discard every form of dishonesty and lying so that you will be known as one who always speaks the truth, for we all belong to one another.
Another misconception we have is that porn doesn’t hurt anybody. Did you know that the average kid comes across pornography from the ages of 8-11? According to the Pew Research Center, recent studies showed that ninety percent of students will find porn before the age of 18. Five years old is the earliest age the American Psychological Association (APA) has found that kids have come across pornography. Pornography is the fruit of something else that is broken. Pornography impacts not only the people seeking pleasure from it but their loved ones also. There was a recent news article that came out stating that a 15 year old girl was found on PornHub that had been missing for nearly a year. That girl on the porn website was being raped this entire time and all of the people looking at this viewed it as enjoyable when actuality she was being forced beyond her will. How many others do you think have been trafficked into this industry? It is essential that we exercise self control and find a Godly way to meet our needs.
Last but not least, we don’t have to be experienced to have a great sex life one day. This was a lie the enemy used to throw at me a lot growing up. This is the farthest from the truth, it is so beautiful to save yourself for your spouse; to experience it for the first time with them and them only. Sex is a learned behavior, its not instinctive or innate. The best things in life are Worth waiting for. Our society is so hung up on getting everything here and now but what is the rush for? Wouldn’t you rather wait and prevent yourselves from going through tremendous heartbreak? I know I would. Each time you’re engaging in sex, you’re giving away more and more of yourself. Lets be Christians who’re prepared to go into marriage as a whole person. You will learn how to have sex with your partner when you’re married, trust me I’m sure you’ll get lots of practice so in the meantime save yourself. If I’m being honest, I find sex to be selfish outside of the limits of marriage. I want to be selfless; thinking of my future spouse and how much more he’d value me waiting to present the gift that God has given to me to give to him. And not only do I want to please my husband with this factor but I want to please God so much more. I want God to bless my marriage and be proud of me for being set on my yes; for being set on exercising self control and being a woman of integrity. Love is about sacrifice and I want to prove to God that I’m willing to sacrifice the things of this world to walk in the true potential of my relationship with him. God set boundaries for us for a reason, he would never want to withhold something good from us–especially something that he created for us to partake in.
Something to keep in mind is that when our yes is set, our no’s are a lot easier. We need to be prepared whether we’re single or married. If you don’t have a stance, your life will be dictated by your circumstances. Choose Purity today. Our yes’ need to be set before the Lord, our friends, our family and the world as a representation of the Lord being able to save.
What will be your yes?